After David Hasselhoff proclaimed the Sharknado series the “worst … ever” while simultaneously announcing his involvement with the 4th installment, I was impressed. I thought to myself “this guy loves bad movies, and gosh darn it, so do I!” Check out my top picks and prepare yourself for the awesome…-ly badness.
7. A Talking Cat?!?
While the title tells you just about everything you need to know about the plot, it’s hard to prepare for just how bizarre a viewing experience this is. Stilted acting, painfully generic music, and low production values? This one has all that, plus a voiceover performance from Eric Roberts that sounds, quite literally, phoned-in. Luckily (or maybe not so luckily), A Talking Cat?!? is easily available via Amazon Instant for $9.99.
6. Troll 2
You know that a horror movie called Troll 2 must really be awful if not a single troll appears in the course of its running time. Instead, the film focuses on a family’s ordeal with a group of vegetarian goblins. That should be enough to sell you. Make it a double feature with the 2010 documentary, Best Worst Movie, which examines the making of Troll 2, as well as its cult following. Both are a bargain on Amazon at $2.99 each!
5. Plan 9 From Outer Space
Although it’s often dubbed as “the worst movie ever made,” Ed Wood’s Plan 9 From Outer Space is actually a lot of fun. How boring can a movie about aliens transforming the buried bodies of the Earth into zombies possibly be? No amount of poor acting or bad set design can make that unentertaining. Best of all: the entire movie is up on YouTube, so there’s really no excuse to skip this one.
4. The Room
There are so few things to say about The Room that haven’t already been said. If you’ve not yet seen this masterpiece of bad cinema, please do yourself a favor and get yourself a ticket to the soonest screening (it’s not available online, but this is one that you should see with a crowd). From the bizarre dialogue, to the dropped side plots, The Room is awful in a way that is all its own. It’s no wonder audiences continue to fill theaters just for the chance to shout at the screen in fits of communal joy.
3. Fateful Findings
The newest release from real estate agent-turned-filmmaker Neil Breen must, if you’ll forgive the cliche, be seen to be believed. After being hit by a car, the main character (played by Breen himself) discovers he has powers that enable him to uncover “government secrets.” If any recent release were to gain the same dedicated cult following as The Room, it would be Fateful Findings. Though not available online, the film continues to screen as a midnight movie; if you get a chance to see it with an audience, don’t hesitate.
2. Mac and Me
Mac and Me, an E.T. ripoff without any of the charm, was a box office bomb, earning just $6.4 million on a budget of $13 million. Worse yet, it functions as a feature-length commercial for various companies, most notably McDonald’s (the name Mac is no coincidence), where an elaborate dance sequence is set. But what joy! The full movie is also hosted on YouTube as well.
1. Standing Ovation
If you’ve never heard of 2010’s Standing Ovation, you’re not alone. According to Box Office Mojo, its opening weekend ranks as the ninth worst of all time for a wide release. Although the filmmakers clearly hoped for a High School Musical style hit among tween audiences, they forgot all about writing catchy songs or crafting a compelling story. Full disclosure: watching a midnight screening of this with a rowdy crowd was one of the best theater-going experiences I’ve ever had.
If you want to see all these clips and full movies in one place, they’ve all been assembled in one easy playlist on our YouTube channel. Enjoy the cringing!
– Eli Sentman is definitely not a vegetarian goblin, currently living in Brooklyn, NY.